Holding steady

I don't know if you can call it "holding steady" after just two days with the same weight, but I think I do. And I don't  like it. Makes me feel like I'm treading water, when what I want to do is the breast stroke. I need encouragement, so todays inspiration is perfect:
It is awesome what happens when you
    are aware of God's presence in your life.
         There is no limitation to what you can do as
              long as it is within His will.
From Walking With God - Quotations from the sermons of Charles F. Stanley

"Nothing will be impossible with God."
                       Luke 1:37


Now if I can just tap into keeping aware of God's presence in my life. After all, my body is the temple of the Holy Spirit! And I surely don't want to put garbage in the temple! Nor fill it to overflowing. I think of it as caring for His home, and know that I have a lot of cleaning up of years of neglect until it is fit for Him.

Don't get me wrong. He lives here NOW, not waiting for me to "clean up my act." Buy His presence here motivates me to get all my ducks in a row and quit letting them run amok in His temple.

How sad that I should not honor Him by keeping His temple in order!

Lord, help me be the person You designed me to be, in a temple that is beautiful outside and inside, which delights You!

As I said...

It must have been water weight, cause when I weighed in this morning, I was down to 199.4. Below the 200 mark!!! (Keep going, Suzi. You're doing good!)
Here's an inspiration that will help me gain the victory, when I'm discouraged and afraid I'll never get there:

"See, God has come to save me,
     I will trust in him and not be afraid.
The LORD GOD is my strength and my song;
     he has given me victory."
Isaiah 12:2

Bring Me all your feelings, even the ones you wish you didn't have.  Fear and anxiety still plague you.  Feelings per se are not sinful, but they can be temptations to sin.  Blazing missiles of fear fly at you day and night; these attacks from the evil one come at you relentlessly.  Use your shield of faith to extinguish those flaming arrows.  Affirm your trust in Me, regardless of how you feel.  If you persist, your feelings will eventually fall in line with your faith.
     Do not hide from your fear or pretend it isn't there.  Anxiety that you hide in the recesses of your heart will give birth to fear of fear:  a monstrous stepchild.  Bring your anxieties out into the Light of My Presence, where we can deal with them together.  Concentrate on trusting Me, and fearfulness will gradually lose its foothold within you.
From Jesus Calling - a daily devotional by Sarah Young

Down, down, down.... blam!

I went from 200.8 to 200.6 to 200.4 to 200.2 losing a quarter pound a day and then today, BLAM! I woke up weighing 202.4! What happened? I think I know. Sleep is very important for health. You won't lose weight and keep it off if you're not getting enough sleep, and last night was a wing-dinger! Remy spent the night with us, but refused to sleep in her bed; the same bed in which she takes two naps every day. All I can figure is that it is pitch-black in that room at night, and she's used to soft light in her room. During the day it's no problem, but at night is a different story. I felt so sorry for her! I tried twice to get her to go to sleep in there, and each time I ended up picking her up and comforting her. She was not just fussing (that's not unusual), she was crying. Poor baby.

So long story short, I decided to let her sleep in the studio with me. Therefore, I got very little sleep. And at one o'clock, she woke up and refused to go back to sleep until three. Even then, 'though she slept well, I slept fitfully. And then we got up at 6:00.

My body did not get the chance to absorb the fluids that make up "water weight gain." I know this is so, because I have, in the past, gotten up during the night and weighed myself, only to lose 3-5 lbs by morning.

So I'm not panicked, although I was looking forward to being almost below 200 again. So to get my mind around the whole picture, I have two inspiring quotes for today.

"It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad." 

        - C.S. Lewis

Useful Vessels

From Journey - a daily devotional by David Jeremiah

     For I say, through the grace given to me, to everyone who is among you,

    not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think

             soberly, as God has dealt to each one a measure of faith.

                                                              Romans 12:3

Bertoldo de Giovanni is likely an unknown name, even amongst art lovers.  He was the teacher of Michelangelo.  Michelangelo was only fourteen years old when he came Bertoldo, but is was already obvious that he was enormously gifted.

     One day he came into the studio to find Michelangelo toying with a piece of sculpture far beneath his abilities.  Bertoldo grabbed a hammer and smashed the work into tiny pieces, shouting this unforgettable message, "Michelangelo, talent is cheap; dedication is costly!"

     How easy it is to envy those in God's kingdom with very visible talent, wishing we, too, had our share of the limelight.  Likewise, it is easy for those with such talent to believe their gift is more important than those of other believers.  God by His Holy Spirit, gives the church, in the form of differing spiritual gifts imparted to every believer, everything it needs to prosper.  Every gift is vital.  So, it's not the gift, but what you do with it that counts.

On a Roll

Yay! The scale says 200.8, down from 202.0 two days ago. That's a pound and a quarter in just two days. That's something to celebrate! (Should I bake a cake? I think NOT!)

Breakfast:
1/2 egg
1 slice toasted cinnamon bread
1 piece turkey bacon


No exercising today, because I'm too sore. Jeff says I should have started out with a day in between exercise days. This is Friday, so I'll skip today, tomorrow, and Sunday, and reconvene on Monday.


Today is Jordan's birthday! He's 29 (could that be right?) He was born in 1983, and this is 2012. Yep. 29! Think I'll go call him right now.



Leave Judging to the Judge
From Journey - a daily devotional by David Jeremiah

     Therefore judge nothing before the time, until the Lord comes,
     who will both bring to light the hidden things of darkness
     and reveal the counsels of the hearts.
                                            1 Corinthians 4:5A
In a 1993 Christianity Today  article (April 5, p. 17), Stephen Brown recalled the words of the British preacher F.B. Meyer concerning judging others.  Meyer pointed out that when we see a brother or sister in sin, there are two things we do not know:  First, we don't know how hard he or she tried not to sin; second, we don't know the strength of the force that assailed him or her.  Brown added a third unknown: We don't know what we would have done in the same situation.
     To those three wise observations, we can add a fourth from the apostle Paul:  The true Judge, Jesus Christ, is coming; and He will bring to light everything that is now hidden to the eyes and heart of man.  Therefore, since the true Judge is coming, we should "judge nothing before the time, until the Lord comes."  When we judge another, we usurp the role given by God to Christ alone (John 5:22).  Next time you're tempted to judge another, remember these four reasons not to judge--especially the last one.
    The only person we are qualified and authorized to judge is ourself (1 Corinthians 11:31).
           If you judge people, you have no time to love them.  Mother Teresa

Day two, and success!

I'm feeling pretty good right now, having lost .4 of a pound since yesterday! But as I look over my day, I see several things in my food log:

I only ate veggies once!
I didn't choose wisely for nutrition.

So today, I fix that. Today I'll eat mainly veggies, with other carbs and proteins on the side.

I am very tired. Sleep did not come easily last night, and if I wasn't awake coughing, I was awake with leg cramps. I really need to get some sleep, so today when the baby sleeps, I'll sleep, too. (I hope.)

Breakfast:
1/2 egg, 1 slice turkey bacon, 1 piece cinnamon toast
(cinnamon is a good fat-releaser)

Video workout again. Hopefully, by the end of next week, I'll be walking 2 miles. Today, just one.

I picked up a whole bunch of toys from a freecycler yesterday, and sorted through Remy's toys to put away the baby toys and only keep out what she actually plays with. Then I added some of the new toys. She'll be very busy when she wakes up from her nap!

I finished Hannah's shorts. Now just gotta get them to her. We haven't been over to Claire's in awhile. Maybe on Sunday we can go.

Today's Inspiration:

He'll Untangle Every Soul Snare
From Each New Day - a daily devotional by Corrie ten Boom

Jesus is able to untangle all the snarls in your soul and to banish all complexes.  He will transform even your fixed habit patterns, no matter how deeply they are etched in your subconsciousness.

     If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you.
    He will not rebuke you for asking.
                                              James 1:5

We have habits we think we cannot break, attitudes we cannot change.
Give us the sense to ask for your answer, Lord.

A challenge

I saw an article in the August issue of Good Housekeeping about 5 women who went from over 200 lbs to their goal weights. No one did it in "six weeks!", but they all managed to reach their goals. I bet I can, too.

The trick is to couple exercise (I prefer dancing to music or an aerobic workout video) with eating right. Most of the time I do eat right, but then comes those days of bingeing. I know I can talk myself out of it, but I rarely do. ("I give myself very good advice but I very seldom follow it," sang Alice.)

So I'm calling my attempt to get to my goal weight my "anti-Alice" diet plan. I need to post some affirmations on the refrigerator door so I read them when I head in that direction. Maybe something like: A small bowl of strawberries helps me lose the weight and gain the goal. If my affirmations include what's in the fridge that's good for me, perhaps it will help me stay on track.

So today I weighed in at exactly 202 lbs. Today is day one.

Yay! I just walked one mile with the aerobic video "walk at home"! It feels good (but sweaty). Walking is supposed to be good for fibromyalgia. I have to admit it hurts some, but I'm not in a flare phase, so the pain is tolerable.

Oh! I forgot to put my goals down!
1) weigh 150lbs
2) wean off as many meds as possible
3) enjoy walking

Here's today's inspiration:

Grace Under Pressure
From Journey - a daily devotional by David Jeremiah

     Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches,
      in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ's sake.
      For when I am weak, then I am strong.
2 Corinthians 12:10

Stress testing, fatigue testing, performance testing, load testing, destruction testing--they all mean the same thing:  pushing something beyond its designed capability to measure its capacity to withstand pressure and to discover its braking point.  If it breaks before reaching designed limits, it's back to the drawing board.
     God allows his children to undergo stress testing--like a treadmill cardiac stress test.  Cardiac tests are not designed to induce a heart attack resulting in a "breaking point," but they are designed to discover weaknesses in "the system."  when God allows us to undergo stress in our life, it is not to kill us, but to help us see our own human weaknesses--and turn to Him.  The apostle Paul had a "thorn in the flesh" that caused him great weakness and it forced him to avail himself of the grace of God (2 Corinthians 12: 7-10).  In fact, he said he now took pleasure in stress because "When I am weak, then I am strong."
     If you are experiencing stress in your life, embrace it as an opportunity to receive the grace of God. 


Today's affirmations (written on bright yellow paper and taped to the refrigerator):


I am willing to change.
I eat only what I need.
I choose to eat healthy foods.
I choose to stay on track.
I am committed to my goals.
I effortlessly stay on track.
I eat foods that support my new weight.
I eat like a thin person.
I treat my body with love and kindness.
My body is the temple of the Holy Spirit.
I am thankful for my body and choose to take care of it as a precious gift.


Breakfast:
1/2 egg, 1 slice turkey bacon, 1 piece of cinnamon toast with butter, 1 cup milk.

Lunch:
1 whole wheat tortilla, 2 oz chicken breast, 1 tbsp mayonaise, lettuce.

Snack:

Dinner:
1/2 half-pound hamburger with bacon and cheddar cheese, sweet potato fries

Me. Fledgling.

Here it is June 22, and I haven't touched this blog since April 15th. I've been thinking about chronicling my journey to wellness, so I think I'll use this one for that.

Three days away from my mom's birthday. I haven't sent anything, and we have something to send; such is my procrastination. I'll talk to Jeff this evening about sending our portrait to her tomorrow. He can do it while I'm at the craft show.

I need to remember to get local honey while I'm in Grapevine. There are a good many people selling it, and I can leave my booth long enough to get some. Or Jeff can get it.

We talked last night about the sewing machine I want to buy. I saw it on Amazon. It a Brother, list price $459, but on sale at Amazon for $149. Perhaps tomorrow will be a good day at the craft fair and I'll earn some money for it. Maybe even the whole amount.

Jeff is so generous. He supports my "busby" (business-hobby) and doesn't demand any of the proceeds from my sales. Here's what I want to do with any money I make: 10% to God, 50% to household income, and 40% back into the business. That will make my finances "well."

Now for me. I've ballooned up to 200 pounds again, which I swore would never happen again. Understandable, being that I binged all day on Tuesday. Brownies (I ate a whole batch in 2 days!), peanut butter sandwiches, and those were on top of my regular food! I wanted to lose 10 pounds to get down to 180, but I lost it in the wrong direction. My goal weight is 150, but 50 lbs is a lot to lose! (I know I can; it will be the natural effect as I learn to get healthy.

So I'm studying nutrition. I want to eat a wide variety of foods and get my vitamins and minerals that way if possible. And I'm hoping that as I get healthier I'll be able to move more freely and not suffer from the constant pain that prohibits my exercising.

I don't like exercising. I think that's because it causes so much pain. I already live with chronic pain—I don't need anything to make it worse.

For breakfast I ate a piece of cinnamon toast and 1/2 piece of bacon. I forgot to tell Jeff I wanted to make a smoothie. At snack time (10:00 am) I ate about a cup of sliced strawberries with 1/2 cup of yogurt. Yummie!

I wish I could afford to go see a nutritionist. There's one right around the corner, and I could walk to sessions. But since I can't, I need to become my own nutritionist. Who knows? Maybe I'll be good at it!